The House Dream

It amazes me how vivid my dreams are. Sometimes, I can recall a whole dream from start to finish. Even to this day, I can remember some dreams I had when I was 10 years old. And that's more than 15 years ago. Can you just imagine what joy and fear I have mixed up in me when I experience a deja vu? That feeling of knowing something will happen the moment it happens. For some of the dreams, I don't mind them happening in real life. Why? Because I just simply couldn't remember them. When I wake up, I try to remember my dream. So that way, I don't experience a deja vu. That way, it doesn't come true. However there are some dreams that I just instantly forget the moment I open my eyes. And that's when I start to get scared.

From all the dreams I've had, I distinctly remember a few. There's one dream however I constantly fear once I enter it. That instance where your body and mind knows your asleep and you consciously and unconsciously know you've entered that dream. It's The House Dream. I know the first time I entered this dream was when I was 12. And somehow, the next time I dream of it, I just pick up where I left... only older.

As I enter this dream, I literally enter a front door of an old house. The door's heavy, made of dark wood, the type that should be creaking but instead very quiet. Every time I enter, I always see a staircase but it comes in two versions. There's one that's in the middle that spreads left and right going upwards (like the staircase in Titanic) and there's another one that's just in the right, pinned against the wall. The wood's the same as the door; dark and heavy.

In every dream, I enter the rooms of this house. It never fails that I NEED to enter a new room. I'd go down the halls, look at the doors, and somehow I'd know that I had already entered that room or that if I hadn't gone in yet. Some doors would open to empty spaces. Some would open to just an old, red, velvet upholstered Victorian chair and I'd just sit on it for hours. There was one door I opened and it was apparently the wall opening to the outside. I was on the second floor and I almost fell out. But the one thing I noticed in that dream wasn't the fear of falling. It was feeling the wind that blew in from outside. It was fresh and inviting. It felt like a relief. Another door would open up to an old apothecary or an old library card shelf (the one that uses the Dewey Decimal System with index cards). When I opened a drawer, it extended all the way to the end of the room, actually pushing me back. Then I realized that each drawer was a person I've met and kept dear. The drawers were labelled with the nicknames I had given each person. The cards inside were notes of the person (who he was, their jobs, studies, etc.). And some doors, I just can't seem to open.

I never really understood this dream. But I do know that every time I realize it's THIS dream I've entered, I feel the rush of fear (both in dream and reality). One person told me that maybe it's the path I have to take. That every time I dream that, it leads me. Like if I want to do something and somehow I dream of a locked door. Or if I think I can't handle a situation, I dream of opening a window in one of the rooms. I don't know. I don't want to over-analyse it. I just know that when I dream of it, something's bound to happen.

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